Everyone gets jealous. It is a natural feeling that we all have, to varying degrees, from time to time. Jealousy is probably one of the first emotions we can remember when we think back to the schoolyard and the time the girl we had a crush on kissed our best friend instead (I will never forgive her!) Unfortunately, though it stalks us through life, it is one of the worst emotions to exhibit and one of the ones that makes us a real pain to be around. It completely takes over and makes us depressed, nasty, and angry.Therefore, the answer to this question is an unequivocal yes. Jealousy is ruining your life because nothing good can every come from it. It doesn’t mean you should never feel jealousy, rather you should be mindful of it taking up too much time in your head, and too much time in your heart.If you are worried that jealousy is taking over your life though, then there are plenty of things you can do to combat it, pushing it to the back of your mind, or eliminating it all together. These all revolve around how you treat yourself and how you treat others, and I have listed my three ways of combatting jealousy here
This is less about getting rid of jealousy and more about using it to your advantage. Jealousy is essentially your brain telling you that you want a better life. It looks at others and wishes you were in their shoes, with their boyfriend, job, or looks. But really what it is subconsciously telling you is that you are not happy with your own life and want to improve it. It would be great if you could just step into someone else’s shoes and take over their life, leading it brilliantly, but that is not what really happens.Instead you have to use this jealousy as a motivation to improve your own life. Think about what makes you most jealousy in your friends. Is it the partners that they have, their success at work, or their flat stomachs? Any of these can spur you on to make the changes in your life so that you have success in these areas. Instead of allowing the jealousy to seethe at home, head out on the trail and pound out the anger over a few miles. When you get back you will feel less jealousy of them, and far better about yourself.Only when you start to realize that jealousy is really about making changes in your own life will you be able to beat the monster.
Here is a mental trick to make sure that jealousy does not rear its ugly head too much. Whenever a friend has success, when you start to feel the jealousy monster appearing in your own mind, swat it away with a couple of well-chosen words – “Well done!”If you immediately switch it around and compliment the other person on their success without letting jealousy get the better of you, you will feel much better about yourself and much better about the situation. This might be one of the times where you have to fake it to make it to start with, pretending you are happy when you feel anything but, but over time you will start to feel genuine joy when a friend tells you about their new beau, or their promotion. Though you might wonder when you will have such success, at this you will not be wallowing in the mire of self-pity and jealousy of before, and will be able to get on the road to your own success.
Don’t Compare Yourself
This is the hardest to achieve, but ultimately the best for you. Sometimes you have to sit back and be able to say “well, yeah, Jane does have a great body, and I am never going to have a body like that.”It is normal to compare ourselves to our peers, and our early life is often predicated on exactly that. But at some point in your life you have to let go of the desire to be perfect. I am not saying do not strive for greatness, but instead understand you can achieve greatness in your own way. You might not have the body of your friend Jane, but maybe you have a better mind, and Jane sits at home wishing she was just as smart.